You are Russian

     Tolerating pain for six months with no break was too much, even for a Russian woman.

After two ER visits, four root canals done, and thousands of dollars gone, I finally learned that the source of pain was neither in my head nor in my teeth, according to a CT scan. But the pain didn’t know that.

     So I went to a root specialist. After several sleepless nights I got too comfortable in the dentist’s chair and dosed off, waiting for my dentist to start after he injected me with pain killer.

     “Did you fall asleep on me?” The gentle voice woke me up, and I tried to figure out how to answer.

“Excuse me?” I looked at the young handsome doctor and turned red. “I didn’t fall asleep on you, Doctor; I fell asleep in the chair.”

     The doctor treated three root canals because the pain was agonizing. Yet, the pain got even worse after my jaw was stretched for three hours during the root canal torture.

     TMJ was a new abbreviation to me: a horrible, incurable condition that makes millions of Americans suffer. Some people, I read, ended their lives being unable to tolerate pain anymore.

     My dentist ordered for me a bulky appliance that I was supposed to keep in my mouth 24/7 for six weeks.

     “It is like yoga for your mouth.”

     I asked my Russian friends whether they had ever heard of such an appliance that I now had to wear to retrain my muscles to react to stress without pinching my nerve.

     “Jaw pain because of stress? An appliance for a month? Not in our country! In Russia, people either get insane because of stress, or die from a heart attack or a stroke. What do you mean, ‘a jaw problem’? Drink a glass of vodka, and your jaw will relax. Oh, you became so Americanized! A jaw… Drink vodka, you are Russian!”