Nature of Bullying
Looking for a book to read, I was stopped by the title: “The modern Temper” by Joseph Wood Krutch. The book was written in 1929 and talked about our human nature. The question that made me want to read the book was about why appreciating such writers as Sophocles or Shakespeare, we had no one for centuries who wrote anything as majestic as they did. As soon as you get an ambition to write the book of your dream, the same choir will sing a song against it.
If we place any modern writing that was written after those giants, it would be like placing an egg next to the Great Canyon, trying to compare their qualities.Does it mean that our civilization degrades from generation to generation?
Several years ago, I’ve learned about a “limited good”–a new concept to me. The Ancient world was built on competition and survival—the Olympics and gladiators’ fighting were a part of life. The folks who followed Jesus lived in that world. They were peasants with small village mentality with its backbiting, gossiping and quarrels. In that peasant world, envy was caused by a firm belief in a “limited good”.
Peasants knew from their daily experience that if someone gets more in life—land, wealth, love, food - it happens on their personal account. To see another person’s prosperity meant only one thing—it was taken away, almost stolen from his neighbors. I was born in Russia—far away from ancient Jews or Greeks, but even in my culture we have similar beliefs. I remember when my daughter was born, my friends and family told me I would never be as pretty as I was because daughters take away their mother's beauty.
Being a chemist by education, I laughed. “How would THAT happen? By osmosis?”
Even the Bible spells the word “ENVY” out 13 times. In Mark 15:10, Mark wrote, “… it was out of ENVY that the chief priests handed him over.” Jesus succeeded in all those things that priests tried to achieve for generations–that was the fact and the reason for envy!
The nature of the word “ENVY” means “pain caused by success of another.” There are three different words that describe our attitude toward another person’s success: envy, emulation and jealousy. Comparing with envy, emulation means the desire to match another person’s achievement in art, science, or business, so it is a good feeling. Jealousy is not a bad feeling either, but a natural desire to protect the loved one or your own property, including talents from envious people.
Envy is the only word that has a negative meaning, to my surprise. Envy is considered to be “the mother of homicide.” Cyprian and Basil describe the harm of envy through the story of Cain and Abel from the Book of Genesis—the primal result of human envy. Envy is dangerous—not harmless—because it seldom stays on the level of emotions. The goal of the envier is to “behold the victim of his envy pass from happiness to misery that he, who is admired and emulated, might become an object of pity.” (Basil). In my culture, envy has practical implication that is far from being innocent–“the evil eye”. Young mothers try to protect their newborns until they reach certain age from strangers, who would envy beautiful babies, just in case.
Plutarch describes a person hearing an outstanding speaker expressing his envy: “As though commendation were money, he feels he is robbing himself of every bit that he bestows on another.” It was believed that fortune, success and prestige of some members of the community came on the account of those poor, unsuccessful, deprived, and because of that miserable neighbors, friends and family members around them.
How would you act with such hostility around you? When I was bullied back in middle school, I asked my mother to buy me a brown uniform that I was no different from others. I wanted to become invisible.
People become reluctant to try anything big and great that can bring them success because of envy. They fear to advance beyond their peers—sanctions come too soon.
If you look around, you agree that people still believe in the concept of “limited good.” If someone has more than them, it becomes personal. The mentality is, if someone got more land, more money, a better spouse or a job–you name it–people conclude: he/she got it on their account.
Don’t be surprised that there are no Sophocles or Shakespeare: people learned the hard way that jealousy causes pain and suffering. It cost Christ death on the cross.
Envy suppresses people’s talents and aspirations. To be polite means do not stick out your neck! It is also safer. Envy kills great potential...so people never try. I remember, my mother used to say, “Do not stick out. People won’t let it go unpunished!” Yes, that was true: our Soviet society only accepted those, who thought and lived alike.
I almost stepped on a little turtle one day on the road, jogging, and, observing it for a few minutes, I’ve learned that the turtle didn’t move forward until it stuck out its head. So, do we people are still hesitant?
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