Between Life and Death

American women have a tough life. When I look at American pregnant women, I can’t help it. I compare. The most mind-boggling thing for me in America is to see heavily pregnant women behind the wheel.

But, after some thoughts, I had to agree that I would rather drive, even if I can’t squeeze my belly behind the wheel than to find myself in a crowded city bus or a train.

The second thing that shocked me in America about pregnant women was that they work until they are ready to pop. I am always scared around them in the office: what if they start delivering babies right in front of me? Everybody seems so calm about it, but I am horrified. In Russia we stop working at seven months and stay home for another two while government pays us the full salary, as well as we are paid some money until a child becomes a toddler. It is cheaper for the government than to open more and more day care centers.

New mothers in America are released almost the next day after delivering their babies. In Russia, new mothers stay in the hospital for five days minimum, it used to be free. You don't even see newborn babies in public places until the baby is at least one month old.

Leo Tolstoy said that if a child is not properly educated and trained before she/he fits across a bed (not a king size!), then it is too late. What he meant by this was that children should be taught everything about life before they turn five (this is when children reach the height that is approximately equal to the width of a single bed). Children benefit from having one of the parents around.

Our Soviet/Russian Health System was believed to be the best in the world! It was officially free. The quality of hospital service was a different matter, but Russian doctors were really well-educated and dedicated, though they worked for a very low pay. It used to be, you get sick in Russia - you call your doctor to come to the house. Free. All you do is put on nice PJs, wash your face, and wait in bed. In Russia, we looked down at those who would show up at work sneezing. Sick? Stay home!

You stay at home or you go to the clinic – either way, you get a coveted light blue paper with official round stamps and your doctor’s signature - medical leave for up to two weeks, with full pay. If you are a mother and your child is sick, you call the doctor and get the same medical leave from work and stay home with a child for up to two weeks. If you are hospitalized, you stay in the hospital for three weeks and you get full salary. Food, room, medicine, surgery – all free, and then you get paid for being sick. It could be the best system, but it was not designed for everybody!

I have to be honest when it comes to praising the Soviet Health System. In Russia, for older people it was all opposite: free health care was designed mostly for those who still worked. Retired people – and women in Russia retire at fifty-five and men at sixty - were told by their doctors to go home and die, “What do you want?! You lived you life! You are old! I am amazed you are still alive.”

In America, on another hand, young and old alike can be equally admitted into any hospital. But one day in a hospital costs several thousands.

My wonderful friend Gene, in her eighties, was not refused surgery, she was not told to go home and die. But she called next day after the surgery, laughing through tears,

“Lydia, you won’t believe this! I am home!”

“Wait a second! You should be in the hospital! Was the surgery canceled?”

“No, I did have the surgery. My surgeon came to check on me this morning and told me that I could go home. I really didn’t feel like it. I told the doctor that I needed to stay for at least another day. The doctor agreed, saying that it wouldn’t be a problem, but I should pay seventeen hundred dollars out of my pocket. You know what I said?”
           Well, naturally, I didn’t know! Gene and her husband had two houses, two new Mercedes in their garage while they couldn’t even drive. They had their own chauffeur, so I was sure they could afford one extra day in the hospital.

“I said, ‘Doctor, I feel much better!’ Imagine, just a minute ago, I thought I was dying, but seventeen hundred dollars instantly raised me up.” Gene was giggling on another end of the line, and I got goose bumps hearing pain in her dear voice.

“That’s OK, Lydia! I can handle it. I have my medicine: I take some for pain, some for blood pressure; a sleeping pill to forget the night and a pill to brighten the day. If I get too hyper and anxious, here is another pill to calm myself down. Aging is disgusting but manageable. Luckily, there are pills, and insurance pays at least for some of them.”

I couldn’t help comparing my wealthy friend Gene, who couldn’t afford an extra day in the hospital with a twenty-four-year-old young woman on welfare, who was constantly having surgeries and was in and out of the hospital. Since I met her, she had carpal tunnel, knee surgery, shoulder and an eye surgery. She never even used a computer to get a carpal tunnel problem!!! She never worked and didn’t have to – everything was paid for, while my other friend Nancy just filed bankruptcy, failing to pay hospital bills.

Three different families – three different stories. Would it be better to have the same approach for all? Not the bankruptcy, of course, but an equal and fair way to get any treatment you need without putting you in debt for life and also without enabling you and tempting you to get more and more treatments and surgeries, even if you don’t need them, just because they are paid for.

I do not have to answer the question what system is better, and I am glad. American independence is a world-known achievement, but sometimes it is not a bad idea to take a look at what our neighbors overseas do to help younger women raise their children and to help older people age with dignity. 

At the end, the true progress of any country is defined not by wealth or even by technological or scientific discoveries, but by the level of care and security it equally guarantees to children and elders.